AUTHOR: Knitti-me TITLE: Grumpy Old Man DATE: 11:14:00 AM ----- BODY:
Over the years Saturday Night Live has provided us with many recurring characters. Characters such as the Church Lady, Cajun Man, Pat, Mr. Subliminal and a host of other well-loved personalities. One of our favorites was The Grumpy Old Man. My brother took on The Grumpy Old Man persona and brought it to a whole new level. Over the years my brother's Grumpy Old Man has visited many a family gathering; however, we hadn't seen him in recent years. So we were overjoyed when the Grumpy Old Man made an appearance at my Mother's 80th Birtday Party! ~~~ The Grumpy Old Man Sketch I haven't seen you for many years, Seri, and I can't believe the things they tell me about you. Why they say you have a Recreational Vehicle that has a bed and toilet. Well Sister, IN MY DAY, all we had was one old Model A Ford. We couldn't all fit in the seats, so us 8 kids had to take turns ridin' on the back bumper AND WE LIKED IT! One time little sister drug her feet too long and rubbed all the skin right down to the bone...AND SHE LIKED IT! When we had to use the bathroom, we didn't say, "Oh daddy, oh daddy, stop the car at the nice clean bathroom," we just used an old coffee can, AND WE LIKED IT!" When we stopped for the night, we didn't have any warm, cushy bed to sleep on, we just spread out one thin little blanket on the ground and then all just laid there with the rocks pokin' us and the ants crawling on us, AND WE LIKED IT! And another thing...You really stooped low when you bought a computer with this e-mail stuff. Why, IN MY DAY, after a long day's work, we sat on a hard wooden chair with only a dim oil lamp for light and wrote real letters. We had to dip the pen in ink every couple of words and if we made a mistake, we had to start all over, BUT WE LIKED IT! None of this "spell check" and "cut and paste," nosiree, it was nothin' to take 4 or 5 hours to finish a good letter, then we had to walk 5 miles to town to mail it, not just push a sissy, softy little "send" button! But believe it or not, WE LIKED IT and it made us tough. An' one more thing Seri, IN MY DAY we didn't have these fancy dancy little cell phones. There was no such thing as reachin' in your pocket for your sissy little cell phone and callin' from the comfort and convenience of your home or car. No sir, IN MY DAY, you dealt with it! All we had was one phone at the general store. And if we ever wanted to use it, we had to hike 5 miles down a dirt road in a pair of worn out boots with holes in the bottom and then wait in line to use the phone with cut and blistered feet, AND WE LIKED IT! There was none of this just calling people whenever you felt like it. Even when we was sick, we didn't call the doctor and say, "oh doctor, oh doctor, I'm sick, bring me some medicine," or "oh doctor, doctor, Billy's cut off his thumb chopin' wood, please come over quick!" No, when we got sick, we just laid there with fever and chills, AND WE LIKED IT! When Billy cut off his thumb, we just tied an old rag around the stump until it scabbed over, AND HE LIKED IT! Yes, BACK IN MY DAY, things were tough and we were tough AND WE LIKED IT THAT WAY.
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